how do I live?

i am;

[] [X] anorexic [x] bulimic [] living off diet pills [] hungry [X] thirsty [] drinking something [xUnder 100lbs [X] fasting/starving myself

PEOPLE:] ask if I’m

anorexic/bulimic [X] have called me fat [X] have said I’m skinny [] have said I’m ugly [X] have said I’m pretty [] spread rumors about me [X] force me to eat [x] say I eat too much [] wish I’d eat more [X] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic/ednos

I WISH: [X] I was THIN [X] I had a better body [X] I didn’t have to eat [x] I could control myself [] I was under 110lbs [x] I could avoid food [x] I could hide what I am [x] I wasn’t fat [x] I was pretty [x] I could stop being anorexic/bulimic/ednos I LOVE: [] feeling hungry ( i don't know what "hungry" is..) [x] seeing a difference when fasting [x] shaking [x] feeling airy [x] losing weight [] being anorexic/bulimic [x] green tea [] diet pills [x] being able to turn down food [x] feeling good about myself APPEARANCE: [x] I am shorter than 5’4 [x] I think I’m ugly sometimes [x] I have many scars [] I wish my hair was a different color [] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color [] I have a tattoo [] I am self-conscious about my appearance [x] I have/had braces [] I wear glasses [] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free [x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger [x] I have more than 2 piercings [] I have piercings in places besides my ears

FAMILY: [x] I’ve sworn at my parents [x] I’ve run away from home [] I’ve been kicked out of the house [] My biological parents are together [x] I have a sibling less than one year old [] I want to have kids someday [] I’ve had children [] I’ve lost a child [] I can’t have children

RELATIONSHIPS: [x] I’m single [x] I’m in a relationship [] I’m engaged [] I’m married [] I’ve gone on a blind date [] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper [x] I miss someone right now [] I have a fear of abandonment [x] I’ve cheated in a relationship [] I’ve gotten divorced [x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back [x] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t [] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did [x] I’ve been ‘the other woman’

SEXUALITY: [x] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex [x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher [x] I’ve kissed in the rain [x] I’ve hugged a stranger [x] I have kissed a stranger BAD TIMES: [x] I’ve consumed alcohol [] I regularly drink [x] I can’t swallow pills [] I can swallow numerous pills at a time without water [x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression [] I shut others out when I’m upset [x] I take anti-depressants [x] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS [] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it [x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose [x] I’m addicted to self harm [x] I’ve woken up crying [x] I’ve lost weight [x] I’ve gained weight [x] My weight holds me back [x] Weight consumes me [] I’m at my thinnest [] I’m at my biggest [] I’ve lost weight and kept it off [x] My weight affects my mood [] I weigh myself daily [] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me [] I thrive on compliments [x] I feel bigger than people who are my size [] I feel happy when I’m hungry [x] I get depressed after I eat [x] I’ve skipped a meal [x] I’ve thrown food away [x] I’ve spit food out [] I’ve fasted [x] I’ve taken diet pills [x] I’ve used laxatives [x] I’ve purged [x] I exercise [] I exercise so I can eat [] I work out secretly [x] I work out daily [] I’ve fainted from exhaustion I’ve done: [x] Weed [x] Cigarettes [x] Alcohol [x] Diet pills [x] Pain killers [x] Sleeping pills [x] Anti-depressants [] Ecstasy [] LSD [] Mushrooms [x] Speed [x] Cocaine [] Other HABITS: [] I keep my eating habits a secret [x] I look at thinspo [x] I collect thinspo [x] I count calories [x] I’ve had negative intake days [x] I avoid food [x] I hate food [] I love food [x] I want to be this way [x] I don’t want to be like this [x] I wish I could have more control [x] Being thin is my top priority [x] I am in treatment [x] I’m doing this for me [x] I’m doing this for someone [x] I’m doing

this to prove myself

ao inicio ainda se percebia mas fiz o upload e deixou de se perceber. mas ainda bem pk ate faz mais sentido se estiver caotico e confuso. pk e assim que eu vivo e a minha cabeca tbm.